OK, this is my first post and also my last year to say that I am thirty something. What does it mean to be going into your forties? Some say you are getting old, others say you are moving into a new phase of your life and others ask are you freaking out.
Well, I have chosen not to freak out and while yes, I am getting older, I hope I am moving into a new phase of my life. I have spent the last year dealing with the demons of childhood, my 20s and 30s. Trying to make sense of it all but mostly choosing to NO LONGER ignore some pretty significant events that included tragedy, love, pain, success, and failure.
How did I start on this journey? I was talking with a friend and he said my life was easy. In my mind I screamed what the heck are you talking about, I am lucky to have survived it all! Then it the next moment, I realized it probably does look easy because I do a very good job of keeping everything inside. I had to face that for the last 38 years I have held in every negative emotion and I have not grieved the negative events; leaving me overwhelmed, stressed and losing my mind. So, I chose to do what I have not done in the past, concentrate on me.
Don't get me wrong, my life is pretty good. I have been able to attain education, travel and even though it is far from over, I have a pretty successful career. It has been the many downs in the journey to get to those things that have not been fun. Not grieving the negative has not allowed me to truly enjoy the positives.
So, for the next year, I am going to blog to help me continue the work on my heart that I started this year. I think it is going to be a fun, difficult and a rewarding journey. I am growing. Some believe you learn to love; I believe you grow to love.
Well, I have chosen not to freak out and while yes, I am getting older, I hope I am moving into a new phase of my life. I have spent the last year dealing with the demons of childhood, my 20s and 30s. Trying to make sense of it all but mostly choosing to NO LONGER ignore some pretty significant events that included tragedy, love, pain, success, and failure.
How did I start on this journey? I was talking with a friend and he said my life was easy. In my mind I screamed what the heck are you talking about, I am lucky to have survived it all! Then it the next moment, I realized it probably does look easy because I do a very good job of keeping everything inside. I had to face that for the last 38 years I have held in every negative emotion and I have not grieved the negative events; leaving me overwhelmed, stressed and losing my mind. So, I chose to do what I have not done in the past, concentrate on me.
Don't get me wrong, my life is pretty good. I have been able to attain education, travel and even though it is far from over, I have a pretty successful career. It has been the many downs in the journey to get to those things that have not been fun. Not grieving the negative has not allowed me to truly enjoy the positives.
So, for the next year, I am going to blog to help me continue the work on my heart that I started this year. I think it is going to be a fun, difficult and a rewarding journey. I am growing. Some believe you learn to love; I believe you grow to love.
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