A Different Me...

Life takes you through difficulties; it brings joy and sometimes-great sadness, but it is all to take you on a journey that many call destiny. Many remember the difficult times in their lives with great heartache and deep pain, not realizing that the pain they are remembering was to help them grow and mature.

I have many things in my life that I know I would not have achieve if it was not for the most difficult moments in my life. The pain was to help me be strong and accept challenges to come. The moments of poor decisions were to help me make better decisions later. Your greatest pains could be your greatest accomplishments.

Do you ever have times like this? Times when you want to experience something familiar, and then you try and travel roads already travelled. I mean things like hang out with people from past periods in your life or do things that you use to. It seems like whenever I have tried to do that the acts seems so foreign, even if I have done it many times in the past. I believe in those moments, I am supposed to be experiencing something new, something different.

That leads me to the title; today I think I am a different me. I have tried things I have never tried. I have done things that I thought I would never do. I have achieved things I never thought I would. Finally, I have loved as if I never knew I could. In order for me to achieve those things, I just mentioned I had to leave things in the past, and embrace that my deepest pains have created a different and better me…

NBC: Obama elected 44th president

NBC: Obama elected 44th president

Illinois senator to become first African-American executive in U.S. history.

Tuesday, November, 4, 2008

A couple of things make this election life changing. The first being, eight years ago people all over the United States, particularly many Christians got behind a man because they believed he believed the same things they did. Eight years later, this country has suffered greatly for the decision to elect that individual as president. Therefore, I ask should beliefs be the only qualifications, for the highest position in the United States. In my opinion, no it takes far more than beliefs. The last president lacked many skills; he lacked the ability to make sound decisions, he lacked the ability to hire the right people and lastly he lacked the ability to see beyond his own needs. While I respect Senator McCain's war record, I think he lacks the same skills as the current president. The ability to make sound decisions, Sarah Palin, really he chose Sarah Palin. The ability to hire the right people is a skill that he lacks; whether you love or hate Senator McCain he ran a poor campaign and that reflects on his ability to hire the right people. He has an inability to see beyond his own needs, Senator McCain cannot see beyond his own desire to become president, so much so he will pull any gimmick. He has “Joe the Plumber” campaigning on his behalf because he thinks he is the everyday middle class. I do not think so, let us just say I cannot relate to Joe the Plumber and I consider myself very middle class.

Second aspect that makes this election life changing, Senator Obama is the American dream. He did not come from privilege and he worked for all that he has and so did his wife. They grew up with the same issues as many of us and he is smart. When he speaks, he makes sense. He truly can relate to what we are experiencing and he gives us hope. Senator McCain is more of the same, family connections and a lack of qualifications.

It is an amazing time and it is sad that so many Americans cannot look at the facts and make a sound decision but instead they have resorted in spreading so many lies and untruths.

November 5, 2008 is going to be an incredible day...

Normal......

I think all my life; I have been searching for normal. The funny thing about that is my life has been anything but normal, and even funnier for someone who craves normal, I have pretty much taken it all in stride. I remember feeling very different at young age, not in an abnormal way but in a way that spoke of purpose.

What is normal? Webster says it is according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle. As a teen, I would party with my friends and then stay up the rest of the night reading a book. I wanted to appear like everyone else, which was the partying because that is what teens do. Family life proved to be anything but normal so I tried to control what I could. Some things I could make look very normal like being the typical teenager, college student and young adult. I partied but got good grades and I always had a plan, a plan no one else knew.

After college and during my stint in the military, I finally settled down, I still kept trying to be normal. When I joined my church 10 years ago, I was having babies and most of the women I met were in the same situation, we all were homemakers. I pretended homemaking was to be my life forever but deep down inside I had a plan to return to work as soon as I put my youngest children in school. I never said a word because it would have appeared not normal for my particular group of friends.

It took me a while but realized, I am made in His image and He has many images. I still do not know what normal is but I am starting to love that am not!

Sex

Who would have thought, that teenage sex would be staring us in the face during the presidential election? We have a 17-year-old pregnant girl (the daughter of the Republican VP candidate) and the alleged father a self described 18-year-old red neck planning to marry. Yes, I keep asking myself is this for real?

I cannot imagine ever requiring my 17-year-old daughter to get married. My daughter at 17, a wife and mother, it would make me incredibly sad! The sad part of this and any situation like it is the child is going to have bare the brunt of the two of them trying to grow up way too soon. I am the product of teenagers forced into marriage and I was never allowed to forget it. I was the reason that both of their lives should have been so different. I had a front row seat to their immature decisions and discussions.

I believe, the Palin's have the many problems that we all face, I just do not agree with how they choose to handle them. I do think, like many people, they have made sex this naughty thing. We all know that when you make something naughty it becomes even more desirable. I think people also make sex the only means to communicate love, leaving teenagers to believe it has to be the next step in the whirlwind of emotions that they may be feeling at the time.

I do not know why the Palin girl decided to have sex at 17 but one thing is for sure she is going to need her mom more than ever...

Are You Living or Existing...

Last night, a friend and I saw the new Tyler Perry movie, The Family that Preys, a must see movie. There was a phrase in the movie that asked the question "Are you living or just existing?” I went wow! Am I, living or just existing?

Before the movie, at dinner we were talking about how people live to put on shows. They want everyone to believe their lives are perfect, that they have no problems. They carefully orchestrate their lives, so that it shows perfection, not a flaw in sight. They have to be careful not to show any emotions, they have to be careful not to show their sadness as well as hide any pain very carefully. To me, that is just existing and not living at all.

Unfortunately, the people we were talking about are Christians. They think that they are helping people, really, they do, and they have the best intentions at heart. They think that people will see their imagine and want Christ but I think 99% of the time people think those people are special and they will never be able to achieve that. What people want to see is "everyday folk" working through the problems of life with the Word of God. People are not looking for an imagine; they are looking for solutions to their reality...

Therefore, I ask you... ARE YOU LIVING OR JUST EXISTING!

Trying To Relax

What does that mean? I am just trying to relax... I have a friend that says that to me all the time. And when I ask how, they never know how to answer me. Well, I want to relax too but I am not always sure how to accomplish that. So.... I have decided to start with, what is the best decision for me in the moment. Well what does that mean?

You see, one of my issues is I give away of myself way too freely, I do not charge enough. I normally think of everyone else and never consider my own needs. Then after a while, I feel stressed and up tight, not at all relaxed. To remedy this problem, I have committed to stop, think and consider before I make a decision to come to any one's rescue. I must think, is helping this person right now, the best choice for me. I have committed to, before I choose to eat something, stay up late or make any decision; I will ask, is this, the best choice for me.

Now, this is very scary to me because most of my life, the people surrounding me, often made choices that were in their best interest, not necessarily mine. My fear has always been that I would become an extremely selfish person. So, my task, find the balance. To find that sweet spot where I can be the giving me, while taking care of myself at the same time.

Wish me luck...